Divorces can be extremely painful. Before a couple can move on, they must face the stress and difficulties of going through the process of separation. Oftentimes, emotions are running extremely high and communication between the parties becomes complex. During a divorce, you and your spouse should create healthy boundaries regarding communication with one another, especially if there are children involved.  For purposes of this article, divorce will be used in general terms. These tips can apply to various stages in the divorce process.

Depending on the reasoning behind your divorce, communication boundaries may change greatly. It is likely that you are going from talking every day to only communicating about separating your assets or handling child custody. It may be that you and your spouse choose to only communicate rarely and when necessary about the children. It could also be that you only communicate through attorneys. Sometimes, parties who separate amicably may have a better relationship and ability to communicate, even about small details of the divorce. It is important to respect the wishes of your spouse regarding communication. While you may want communication to remain the way it was, your spouse may not want to communicate constantly anymore. Giving each other the space needed will likely allow for better communication in the future, if necessary.  

Additionally, divorce affects not just the relationship with your spouse, but also that with your friends and your spouses’ family. It is possible that the relationships you have will also slowly come to an end depending on the dynamic. Therefore, it is also necessary to establish similar boundaries with these individuals so that everyone has a chance to process the situation in a healthy manner.  

It is important not to say anything to your spouse that you would not share with a judge. Everything you say during a divorce can potentially be used against you. When feeling emotions such as anger, you should refrain from communicating with your spouse until you can take time to calm down and process the response you want to make. Responses should be thoughtful and focused, so that hostility does not arise and make the situation worse. This will also help the communication stay on track regarding the issue being discussed and not open the door to rehashing prior issues. If a conversation does turn unproductive or hostile, it is okay to politely end a conversation and communicate that you need to take a break or talk again when you are both calm. Once parties establish the boundaries of communication that they are comfortable with, it will allow for more productive conversation that could lead to your new beginnings.

If you or someone you know may have a situation where any of the above-mentioned situations are involved, contact Hatcher Law Group for a consultation with an experienced family law attorney to understanding your rights and options moving forward.